Saturday, May 30, 2009

Understanding Your Child's Behavior

From time to time when I find a good article I will reference it here. Because I am concerned about honesty and plagiarism, I will not copy the entire article, I will only reference it (with a link) and provide the first paragraph so you can decide if it is something you want to read. Please come back here to discuss and add questions.
Pete

Here is the first one. It is really a pretty good article.
Understanding Your Child's Behavior

Posted by: Rosemary Plybon Created: 5/18/2009 8:18:50 AM Updated: 5/19/2009 7:52:27 AM
Greensboro, NC -- We know that child behavior is best understood as an interaction between the child and the environment. Some children do well in particular surroundings, while other children need different supports in order to manage their behavior. Also, children of different ages are able to manage their behavior in different ways.

What is behavior?

We are always behaving. Sometimes our behavior is more appropriate than it is at other times but we are always behaving. When we talk about child behavior we need to keep this in context. Everything a child does is a behavior.
With that said, we need to understand a few things.
First, we need to understand typical and appropriate child behavior. Recently I was reviewing some paperwork from a provider of services for children with disabilities. The provider made the statement that this particular child (who was three) did not have a good understanding of safety issues in the community. I have a three year old grandson. We have a trampoline in our yard. If he had his way, he would run outside and get up on the trampoline by himself (of course he is very bright and can even move things around so he can have something to climb up on to get onto the trampoline). We don't let him get on the trampoline without someone watching, we don't let him out in the yard by himself. We don't even let him go into some parts of the house by himself. He is a typical three year old, and he doesn't understand safety concerns in the community either. Shoot, there are a lot of teenagers who don't have a good understanding of safety concerns. (unfortunately there are some adults who don't either)
Second, there is a reason behind all behavior. Often when the behavior is inappropriate, if we can discover the reason, we can teach a more appropriate way to help the child get their needs met.
Third, we need to understand a child's needs. What are they really after. For example, sometimes I eat too much when I am stressed. In those situations, is food my real need? No!

Someone recently wrote to me about a child who wants to be put into time out. Obviously that is not a good punishment for the child, if the child wants that opportunity, but then the question is "what is the child getting out of time out?" Does the child need some quiet, alone time? Has the child become over stimulated? Obviously I don't know the answer because I don't know the child or enough about the situation; however, there is more to it that meets the eye so to speak.

When you use this forum for discussion, please do not include the name of the child or parents or even enough information that someone else might be able to identify the child. Please just leave enough information about the situation so that we can discuss and perhaps find some helpful solutions.
Pete